Love, Lust, Lies

2010-09-24T22:41:00.003+08:00

I wanna be a billionaire, so freaking bad.

Glee's out. Promos started. went retail therapy today. bought slippersssss. NUM :D but their quality like... comparably not so zai liao! anyway, GP paper today. i couldn't spell situation. BUT I CAN SPELL IT NOW. lucky can use circumstances. shit sia, did some tough question. i thought it was doable. but then everyone like say damn tough... oh wells. hope i'm the only one in the cohort to do so moderation gimme high marks please ://

Saw this pair of siblings today, eating imaginary candy. when was the last time i did that? long looong, LOOOOOOOONG time ago. it was fun uh, it was. growing up has removed this aspect of fun from us. maybe it's the JC system. no maybe it's just education. sucks to be educated, but it's a double- edged sword. can't believe i used this in my essay, naise one la. geog is useful :D econs coming up. econs uh econs. please be nice and just come out a nice topic please.

Sien. addicted to some iphone game. argh. ikr :/ and it that feeling of falling off the edge. but you know it's gonna hurt. a lot. oh wells, i would jump off a cliff some day. literally. and parachute, dive, bungee jump. what else is there to live, when there's nothing but alcohol drives.

2010-09-21T23:12:00.002+08:00

Disgusted. Disgusted terribly.

If what you do is nothing but a pretense, then you're just nothing but a liar. If what you say is just to patronize us. Then don't say. If what you do is just to satisfy that need you require from them, then just be honest and put in effort.

Don't be an irritating liar who puts on this show for everyone to see. God, it's not a fashion parade. It's our integrity and morals. It's our integrity and morals.

If your conscious tells you to do all these, so as to better secure your needs. Then your upbringing has failed. If what you do at home and outside is not the same, then honesty is lacking in you. If you put yourself in deceit, in a performance, to garner nothing but popularity and a path that would make it easier for you in the future, then, you have failed as a person.

If all these were true, then congratulations. You have reached a state of nirvana, enlightenment and accomplishment. But then again, it all lies does to your lies and truth.

2010-09-21T19:08:00.002+08:00

Everyone's waiting for that cue.

hehehehe. quite happy with myself. got 16/25 for chem mcq. without reference or whatsoever. haler (: i'm gonna own you promos. be nice to me and i'll be nice to you too kay! just let me pass and not have any R paperssssss.

The Fray rocks (: i'm like stuck to their songs suddenly! She's on my mind. oh she's on my minddddd! hahahahas the fray's on my mind :D anyways, had a really really really really weird dream. but oh wells. quite funny to a certain extent!

and yay, my cousin's gonna be cooking me nice food from now till 8 sideways! now i have this urge to come home every night for dinner, unlike the past months/ years. it's that nice fuzzy feeling you get when you think of going home (: got in touch with my inner Mr. Shaggy, like how Mrs. Liew/ idk the author, called it.

Just gonna do my best,

own your ass.

promo's nothing

but just another test.

so put in effort,

and study hard.

then A's and me,

will never be apart.

2010-09-19T20:45:00.002+08:00

Dayum.

everyone's studying. but i'm in a play mood. argh. shit man. some guy is wearing some funny clothings ons TV. he sing song until veins come out. wow.

went to run today. finally. bleh. hate this feeling. it's when you know it's out of spite. but you still do so. wasn't it the same for you? no i shan't be like you. just. just. keep collected. i suppose. can't really be bothered with you.

2010-09-19T12:45:00.002+08:00

And it feels like tonight.

oh mannnnn. tireddd. okay. to do list after promos!

1- go out with chng wei minnnnn.

2. go out with hetty and constance.

3. catch movieS. okay maybe i can go out with the above to catch a movie+ catch up.

4. go for a chalet. someone organise one! :DDD maybe odac chalet? okay then again maybe not! later everyone ban me againnnnn D:

5. i wanna go sentosa. beach outing soon!

6. kayaking kayaking kayakinggggggg :D

7. run EVERYDAYYYY. aiya talk is cheap. whatever. but i will! Gold for NAPFAAAAA. if i can't

get A's for promos, i get them in napfa!

8. go shopping with retard fiona :D we'll shop for half of lee minho's wardrobe!

9. well, study i suppose. yeap ikr. but yeap. damn :/

10. Go out with hosue commers. yeap. DAVID HO AND SU FANG GO ORGANIZEEEE

11. BADMINTON! with neo virgil and eunice :D

11 things. okay that's quite a lot. okay guys, this is in no sequence. cause i want to do them all :D and oh anyways, to do list for NOW

do gp and chem. GG ://

Cause the day i thought i'd never get through, i got over you.

2010-09-18T21:51:00.003+08:00

So how do you feel, when you see all those things?

dayum. hungry like anything. watching personal taste. i swear lee minho has a nice wardrobe >:O dayummmm. he has nice hair too. walao, both of us have straight hair. why his like so so so much nicer. i'm talking about his hair. NOT HIS FACE. okay la, we look alike too actually :D

Got my bio tb today. freakin' thick. reminded me of my old bio tb. miss secondary school days. haix. watching them eat ~~bio~~ korean bbq. SHIT. yes ruth, i know its funny! 8 factorial. attack. okay i admit. its funny. fine :/

and stupid fiona. stupid stupid stupid >:O angry arh!

don'e all you can do... nope. it's just that i can't be bothered. i wished i could take it back, but then again. not really.

2010-09-18T00:27:00.002+08:00

I'm not perfect, but i keep trying.

Dayum. pissed. pissed that i'm not stressed. stressed. stressed that i'm pissed at not being stressed. vicious cycle anybody? scrrrewwww itttttt.

where were you, where were you. just a little late.

2010-09-16T20:50:00.002+08:00

if there was a billion wishes i could make,

i'd wish for everything but its just a wish.

wishful thinking.

another day spent. tired. tired from lies. from you. and you. and you. and you. but i'm thankful for the honesty. for this. and that. and that. and that. and also for you. and you.

sat down to think. what is life. why were we made. what is our existence for? listened to myself talk. realized i've changed. listened to myself. listened. and listened. and listened. i feel old. couldn't recognize myself. lost that sharpness alr. lost the ability to phrase. lost... lost everything.

like what cc said. sucks. it does. the world we knew wasn't a fairytale. no, it isn't at all. the sheer determination brought about by pressure to strive. lies fabricated to cover up the truth. at least well the sarcasm is gone. tempted. really tempted. it's like the forbidden fruit. damn my life is screwed. damn screwed is my life.

if you really think you're that smart cause you're in the program, ever wondered why they removed it? probably because of you. cause you see, you're such a disgrace they had to do it. and oh not forgetting you think you're great, cramming yourself with unnecessary work and lament on how disgustingly busy you are. just face it. you don't know what you want. you only fill yourself with endless temporary satisfaction that brings no joy. because you don't understand the true meaning of life. if you did, perhaps you would do things which is beneficial to society. if you really are that great, then you should really do something great and not talk about it. talk is cheap, but i can understand why. you're so cheap, even your talk is. :D smile cheapo, you're on forbe's bottom list. :D

2010-09-15T18:43:00.005+08:00

Something that would like those ears. i'm gonna give all my secrets away.

This time, don't want another perfect lie. argh :/ a life built on adrenaline, on fear, on pain. The feeling of knowing its reality- knowing of pain. knowing of those little things that keep us afraid. the feeling of wanting to do better, to understand sadness so that we can feel happiness. aren't our lives all built on that? to know anger, and tears, and little things that.. little things that made your day.

Thanks yo! (: i love my class. i know i was skeptical before. and the old me can't believe i really said it. but yes. thanks for making my day, for making me smile. thanks for the stupid arguments we have that never ends and always ends up with a enough le hor or some funny shit. And the random tapping and mass smsing and spoiling the mood and talking rubbish and people being gay and so much more. all in a day (: it totally brightens my epic life.

and i know whenever someone asks, i'm supposed to smile and embrace it. and every time someone mentions it, i'm supposed to take the hint and react. but fuck it.

2010-09-14T22:25:00.002+08:00

Colours of a rainbow shine,

brightly across the dark gray skies.

The stunning white lightning flash,

corrected the portraits breadth.

Your stories painted my life.

Brought hues into my vision.

Shocked me down with reasons.

Shocked me down with one reason.

Now the world falls back,

into the arms of black.

The wind quietly sweeps.

Her finally wishful dreams.

2010-09-12T16:52:00.002+08:00

i want a dslr ://

DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR. DSLR.

Any nice souls out here? hints, my birthday comingggg. i don't mine a secondhand one! :D but i do mind not having one :/ FEEEEEE. hate your uncle :/

sien ji bua please, need to study. i swear, should have went poly... poly poly poly poly. maybe i'd have taken architecture?! yeap pw made me realise i can draw. wow. hope you see this weimin, but i doubt you would. hahahas :D

anyways, it's nice to be talking againnnnnnnnnnn. like a wise man once said, a coin has two sides, so does a man. now let's not flip over yeap? and i swear pw's a bitch. ALL HAIL THE BITCH. and random: but i sorta miss the 11 and 22 days when we were supposed to go for dinner together.

2010-09-09T20:41:00.002+08:00

Had i known, how to save a life.

Monopoly with mr foo and bl (: STARWARSSSS. hahahas. man, been awhile since i played monopoly! PW was awesome (: really felt like a group ;D and FEE I WANT LEE MIN HO'S HAIRRRRRRRRRRR its damn straight but it's damn nice still. hahahahas. ms lau caught me for hair today. damn funny :D

I found god, on the corner of first and amistad. you found me, you found me.

btw Fee, i haven't collected chinese from your locker yettttt :XXX

2010-09-08T10:49:00.002+08:00

i'm not perfect, but i keep trying.

cause that's what i said i would do, from the start. (:

stupid hetty. i do not see how it links to me! but okayyyyy. hahahas. nobody's perfect. i'm nobody. anyways, i.want.to.go.clubbing.and.i.need.people.to.go.with.me. and no, clubbing does not necessarily mean drinking. want go drink you'd say: lets.go.drinking. not lets.go.clubbing.

hahahas. yes WR's over alr :D (just my part only actually) and hi alicia, if you ever do see this you are the nicest most bimbotic best friend i'd ever have in my lifeeeee. your bimbo-ness is at nirvana, so honestly, no one else can beat you (:

do you know how many stars blink when you sleep? none. cause they don't bother. same here.

2010-09-07T00:31:00.001+08:00

It's been a while since the two of us talked
About a week since the day that you walked
Knowing things would never be the same
With your empty heart and mine full of pain

So explain to me how it came to this
Take it back to the night we kissed
It was Dublin city on a Friday night
With vodkas and coke, I was getting insomniac

We were sitting with our backs against the world
Saying things that we thought but never heard
Oh, who would've thought it would end up like this

But everything we talked about is gone
And the only chance we have of moving on
Was trying to take it back before it all went wrong

Before the worst, before we met
Before our hearts decided it?s time to love again
Before too late, before too long
Let?s try and take it back before it all went wrong

There was a time that we'd stay up all night
Best friends, yeah talking 'til the daylight
Took the joys alongside the pain
With not much to lose but so much to gain

Are you hearing me? 'Cause I don't wanna miss
That you would drift on memory bliss
It was Grafton street on a rainy night
I was down on one knee and you were mine for life

We were thinking we would never be apart
With your name tattooed across my heart
Oh, who would've thought it would end up like this

But everything we talked about is gone
And the only chance we have of moving on
Was trying to take it back before it all went wrong

Before the worst, before we met
Before our hearts decided it's time to love again
Before too late, before too long
Let's try and take it back before it all went wrong

If the clouds don't clear
Then we'll rise above it, we'll rise above it
Heavens gate is so near, come walk with me through
Just like we used to, just like we used to, yeah, yeah

Let's take it back before it all went wrong

Before the worst, before we met
Before our hearts decide it's time to love again
Before too late, before too long
Let's try to take it back before it all went wrong
Let's try and take it back before it all went wrong

2010-09-03T23:17:00.002+08:00

rawr.

means i love you in dinosaur.

ee min! i seriously miss us in mrs wong's lessons. talking about her rewearing her levis, her and her funny dra-gon polygon and she calling you ee min. ): and mini mart days. argh. hate it.

it's like falling leaves,

two thousand feets above.

the little stars that shine,

galore in the open skies.

its like a necessary evil. its like a punishment i deserve. fucking hate it. ): scold me, beat me bite me. just don't ignore. ): i feel like a piece of pork who died not knowing why, only to know much later he was just raised for food ):

2010-08-30T23:10:00.002+08:00

Rawr.

lalalalalalalalala, lalalala, lalalalala.

Man proposes, God disposes. if there's a superior being, then well, entertain me with that thought then. if you created a world of sadness, filling it with anything but empathy, trust and left us in pieces of denial, deception, discontentment, disillusioned. perhaps the forces of nature were made for us to experience sadness. made to create feelings which you couldn't feel. feelings which you couldn't comprehend, and left us subjected to it.

perhaps your prowess left you scarred- meaningless, emotionless. unable to foresee feelings you could feel, and brought those feelings upon us.

but the world you created is a lie. nothing lasts, and your lie is falling apart. we're turning into you. millions of us who are contemplating a world with no sadness- the world you live in- are envious of you, who is envious of us.

We're never satisfied with the present, cause yesterday told me today could have been better. cause you could be better off with someone else. and nothing lasts. nothing.

2010-08-22T00:50:00.002+08:00

BIRDIE SIOW!

hahahahas. okay firstly thanks birdie for helping me so much okay. good recommendations :D and also thanks for being such a nonsense. seriously la retarded what topple your cruise and how to spell fat and retarded and whatever and gou le hor gou ler hor that's my line blablabla nyeh nyeh nyeh hehehehe but it's fun uh.

secondly i always knew i wasn't meant to be a garung guni. that's why need study and anyways some families were uber nice today hehehe and sia la i'm in a state of nirvana, no not B.O.T.T.O.M. econs+ gp remedial+ tuition= mega enlightenment+ holy symbol tee hee :D sia la damn tired so many things to do piling piling piling up!

2010-08-20T17:54:00.001+08:00

Crazy feelings.

hahahahas, zomg. today was kinda fun (: i seriously wanna do well for studies now. i mean, since odac now also no feel alr. like ZZZ liaos. and oh wells whatever rocks our sampan and comes our way, i think it's time we deal with it. had a nice talk with giam, even though it was kinda zzz eff here eff there but yeap. oh wells. you're the invincible one. even god listens to you. i bet if you asked god to not rain this morning, it would be bright and sunny filled with sunflowers and daisies. such a fake world. oh wells. when the queen is fake, its a fake world she's ruling and talking about fake, how can she be a fak queen when she is really fake? :D

oh wells. i hate chinese. i've been ang- mohfied. i can't speak or write well. oh no!

2010-08-18T22:43:00.002+08:00

On a rollercoaster ride!

hahahahahas.

oh wells. life's like that, isn't it? i mean, when you're at your life's highest moment, where everything seems so carefree and whatever rocks your sampan, things just roll down. but hey, sometimes its fun if you see how much you're dropping, only to know you're gonna survive it and you know that you're gonna go up again!

anyways, i'm definitely on my way down. but hey, the view ain't that bad. ytd was just effing effable. hahas. today was just pissing pissable. like a donkey and a horse together. stubborn like a mule i swear. S.T.U.B.B.O.R.N. i kinda regret now. not studying. my brain is in a i'm in primary school mode. zzz. sucks. and i seriously wanna be an OGL. but sighs. and today's flier giving was kinda GMH? i remember doing the 2 room flats. It looked so small, i swear if i lived there i would complain everyday, but it sorta made me realised i'm so much more fortunate. and this little girl was so adorable. i explained to her what the flier was for, and she smiled, and said: okay i see what clothes i can donate! and so many grandmas, they don't understand chinese/ english and were mostly illiterate, but they were really genuine to help. you can like feel it uh. and i tried translating it into hokkien/ canto. i swear i'm hokkien and only hokkien. my canto quite suck. but it was real nice of them to say wo kua wu bo, tan hor li. i was just touched.

and neo, if you see this. i just wanna say thanks for just msning me to tell me to not give up. i totally forgot what i had set as my pm, but it was just aww when you told me that. i think little actions like this goes a long way. it really really made my day/ month/ year. it's nice to know that you have friends out there who care for you despite their mega busy schedule. and i was doing this GP compre on happiness in today's society. and it said something like: love is part of the equation of happiness. i so agree after neo's comment! :DDD

2010-08-16T23:17:00.002+08:00

Yippee yippee yay yay.

hahahahahahas. omg damn funny today can! stupid birdie like some shy shy small kiddo only. and today i learnt that FAT= Wei Loong. zzzz. damn funny can! but i serioously damn appreciate it. got sooooo frigging good lobang like godlike only (: and RED ROOM RED ROOM. i swear, we're retards! hahahahahas (: hope you saw my sms/ this blog post!

and haler today did pw peer evaluation~ sia la i swear really wake up call okay bert bert made me realised that so yeap thanks bert bert and i think my pw group quite, QUITE, imba. okay la. but oh wells. sumpa i swear please god let my pw be an 'A'. if not i might just die. ZZZZZZZ and heard not going ladakh alr! some virus+ floods. maybe going nipple. hehehehe nepalllllll :D anyways zomg conflicts between the lookalikes is just scary and i swear i'm gonna get at least a B for GP. if i don't, i'll just kill myself!! LAW LAW LAW LAW LAWWWWWW. don't really wanna take cause need study so long but i seriously wanna do home affairs law ):

just prayed to a god that i don't believe in. (:

2010-08-15T20:47:00.002+08:00

1,2,3!

hahahas today was awesome (: rayden came by. brought him out. played like siao. it's either he's grown heavier or i've frown weaker. so freaking tiring to carry him! but yeap it was fun. slept quite a bit today. but not really a lot either. lots of homework not done. yea screw everything. promos ftw liaos. determined to get my h3333333333. just joking. determined to do well uh, don't wanna drop. no more odac. sien can. what happened to the stress reliever. now only pt would be running i guess. haix. KENIIIII. maybe you wanna run tmr! it's monday, again. hahahahas.

yes ah. softball tomorrow. can go hit some balls. hope we won't be the phailing/ failing team. (: anyways. you win. i give up alr. like really. its just too uncomfortable uh. and thats what you always wanted right? so yea, have it your way. its just too uncomfortable alr. yea.

1,2,3.

2010-08-14T15:11:00.004+08:00

Liar liar pants on fire!

hahahahas. liar game was just awesome. apples and apples. feel smarter after watching it. inception+ salt so insignificant after watching liar gameeeeee

my mom is like knitting me my whole, not really whole but yea, winter wear. i have this scarf thinggy ( which isn't a scarf). a beanie. and a vest. don't think i'll be bringing the vest there. maybe first day only, before we sai kang. hahahahas, best part: all matching colours can! hahahahas. anyways, i can actually fit into my bro's mickey mouse tee that i bought for him. it looks so puny. but i can fit. guess it just means i'm skinny! :D

anyways. i seriously missed those times urgh. no feel for studying at ALLLLLLLL

2010-08-13T19:25:00.002+08:00

parade of thieves and liars.

guns loaded with fire.

a dozen shots in the open sky

nothing heard but a single cry.

mass speeches, stunned faces.

the power of propagation.

nothing but a lover's wife.

singing to that lonely man.

nothing said but untold lies.

the lovely tales of little walks.

through his head and a million more.

divine whispers deluded by lust

girl your heart is of no trust.

bitch, slut, cunning whore.

hey babe, that's just your one flaw.

2010-08-13T18:49:00.002+08:00

Yippee (:

New Skin. hahahahas. simplicity is beauty i'd say. chem tutorial was awesome today. Jun Ling. Jun Ling. hahahahahas! oh wells, it's great when you entertain/ get entertained during tutorials. been trying to stay awake, but it's just zzz.

"sleep is a necessity" so said wei min. which i totally agree. the odac room is now my bedroom. and i swear viruses is simple, but our lecturer just makes it so tough with all the random blanks he placed in our notes and he doesn't even tells us the answers to it! respiration next week. yes ah! finally something human to study. i mean that's what bio's supposed to be about right? (: and not about DNA. ( seriously, my DNA has been replicating like x 8sideways alr, idrgaf about how it happens. it just does.)

I liked 9th August. like really :/ hahahas. and all the scandals nowadays uh. Kenny owes me a la ji ( gross but yea) and a present. Wei loong is the jealous girlfriend. hahahahas. and man, slv is being a total bitch nowadays. like seriously. and YOG video. yippee. YOG is like gonna start in idk how many hours but i know its this week. and Halloween and this and that and oh yea promos and YEP, yupp, yep. the irony.

I swear my class is just awesome. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! hahahas, guys you make my day everyday. rachel and jun min and fee and kah and sher and raj and pw group and so much more.

Smile! cause the world doesn't stop revolving for you (:

2010-08-11T23:32:00.001+08:00

Fuck it.

it's like deja vu. like paused, rewind play. it's like fucking the hell out of me. its that standing in the rain trying to shelter you with some pathetic piece of cloth. its like shining a torch into a endless tunnel. its that helpless feeling you feel. like when the air con blows too hard and i can't fucking do a thing and all i can do is use my bag to shield you. its when i know i made you stay up so late, feel so tired, get scolded, feel fucked up and i still did it. fuck it's when you know you're at fault but you can't do a thing to correct it and all you do is watch like an actor who forgot how to act. fuck.

2010-08-11T21:41:00.002+08:00

Fuck.

now the fairytale has ended.

the man inside fallen.

the toy inside broken.

the last page ripped off its edge.

the book scarred.

pen and tear drop marks.

scratched away,

the title with no beginning.

but somewhere far.

there lies his heart.

warm and beating,

in the cold snow huts.

waiting for your arrival,

to bring him to his hometown.

2010-08-06T18:53:00.002+08:00

don't wanna be another smile,

that passes by you so fast.

Like the flowers that wither,

their falling petals litter.

Green in the bloodshed,

sorrow in the unkempt smile.

Winter winds harsh as snow.

Summer suns light with a glow.

Come and pass as how you want.

Fade the light into the dark.

A puppet fiddling on its strings.

tugging on it to be free.

the giraffe that went away,

will now forever stay in place.

fuck i hate this feeling.

2010-08-02T21:20:00.003+08:00

Hi i'm dedicating this one and only post in my blog to you.

the past few days felt like weeks.... hope i haven't been irritating cause i realized i was quite attention grabbing. and idk, but okay sometimes, a bit insecure? yupp. as in. aiya, you get what i mean right.

yupp and ignore me when i'm retarded okay! i know i'm damn retarded. like freaking retarded. and tell me when i'm being retarded. and if you're angry, scold me. idk. like saturday night i thought you were angry and sorts. hahas okay retarded me again. and i'm a pedophile. i know (: and okay i'm damn like mushy i'm sorry but yupp. don't fall sick kay, cause i will worried+ sad okay.

if roses were red and

violets were blue,

i'd want to be destined,

with one and only you.